Hey, it's Adri, your resident poor trans gay Texan. Again.
I'm updating our situation, because we still need help despite Owen having gotten a job, and I fucking HATE IT.
TLDR; A couple months ago, Owen's job burned down. [pictures] He was getting unemployment while he looked for another job, but it was like 300-dollar checks (his checks at the cafe were around 900 for reference). He's since gotten another job, but they had him working like, two shifts a week while he trains, so he's currently not making a lot of money yet.
While there IS money being made, I don't know if we're gonna be able to pay rent AND the bills that are way overdue. We don't even have car insurance right now.
I'd super appreciate any help, even if it's just a rb for this post. I really hate to fucking do this again, but hopefully this is the last time now that Owen's going to be making hopefully steady money again.
In light of the United States government shutdown impacting SNAP benefits, I've seen a lot of posts giving advice about how to find food banks, and reminders that it's not shameful to use them. That's good, I'm glad to see it. But as someone who has experience having to get things from food charities, a few reminders:
If you want to donate to a food bank and help people, either give money or see if the bank has a list of specific requests. Don't give random shit from the back of your cabinet or run out to buy whatever strikes your fancy just because it makes you feel good to put a physical item in a donation box. Nobody wants your random expired cans of mystery meat, and food banks can stretch a dollar a lot farther than you can.
Food banks are often not accessible to people with food restrictions or special dietary needs. If someone has ARFID and can't eat beans, but the food bank only has beans and rice, telling them to just "go to the food bank" doesn't actually help. If someone keeps kosher but the free food event is only giving away bagged lunches with ham and cheese sandwiches, that free food event is useless to them.
Poor people deserve to eat good, nutritious, tasty food. If you see somebody who's food insecure talking about how they wish they had something better, don't shame them and tell them "it could be worse." If you see a poor person splurging on higher-quality meals or just an extra little treat, don't shame them or act like they're lying about food insecurity. It is fucking horrible to exist on the bare minimum, and endless days of the same flavor of ramen, or rice, or whatever other cheap thing you can access, is just about the most demoralizing thing in the fucking world. And before anyone says, "Oh, but you can jazz up your ramen and make different flavors of rice," don't. It's about the lack of variety. It's about the stress of always needing to find different exciting ways to jazz up what feels like the equivalent of peasant gruel, when all you want is the comfort meal you're too poor to afford.
If someone is asking for help with food, and they are specifically requesting MONEY, just give them some fucking money or move the hell along. They don't need your unsolicited advice. They don't need to hear you condescend to them about what you think they should be doing instead. Food banks are a huge help to many people, but for plenty of others, food banks aren't enough, or aren't accessible, or don't have foods they can actually eat. Don't assume malice, laziness, or ignorance from someone who says they can't make use of a food bank. They know what their body needs a lot better than you, a random stranger, do.
Some food banks are fucking predatory. Some are run by Christian churches who require you to attend services, even if you're not Christian. Some require you to prove you have a job. Some require you to debase yourselves for their amusement before they'll even consider throwing you scraps. Before you recommend a food resource, maybe check and see if it's actually a good one.
Hungry people are often tired, stressed, embarrassed and ashamed of needing help, or dealing with any number of other unpleasant emotions. Don't add to their stress by treating them like they're stupid or somehow deserve to be in poverty. I shouldn't have to say that, and yet every single time someone in my family posts about needing help with groceries, some jackass crawls out of the woodwork to give us unsolicited financial advice, as if we're too stupid to know how money works and are just bad at managing our bills. No, asshole, it's the capitalist system that's designed to crush people. Fuck off if you're not going to be helpful or kind.
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